Things in my life are gloomy and changing. Faster than I ever wanted but hey, that's how life works. It's starting to look like I'm moving back to Logan. Not something I really want to do. But if i get the opportunity to better myself, then I guess it's worth it.
Talked to one of Alex's friends. He said that Alex would tell them how bad the relationship was (arguing all the time) so they pretty much told him to break up with me. I knew they had something to do with it. And they didn't know he was still calling me and coming to see me. His friend said he was hiding it from them because he told them it was over and done. HA! Alex seems kind of hurt that I may be moving. But it's his problem. I told him long ago he was the only thing keeping me here. And now that he's decided it's time for me to get over him and move on, I need to get away. Howdoes he expect me to get over him if I still talk to him everyday and he stll comes up to see me? He'll feel pretty dumb when he realizes he let his friends decide what his life should be. He ditches work now just to hang out or go swimming with them. What a poopy head. I hope he straightens up. Not for me but for himself.
Well teh job opportunity does sound good. I'm not sure about teaching special ed though. I like them and all, but it's not my idea of teaching. It's more like babysitting. But hey, maybe I could help them if I got that job. Hopefully there's something else open that I could do. The money would be better. And I would be closer to my family and friends. It wouldn't be horrible. But LOGAN sux. I hate going to the store in Logan. I hate being downtown in Logan. I hate the parents who let their kids do all kinda shit and get away with it. Ah, there's lots I hate about Logan.
But if I do go back, I don't want to live with anyone. I want my own place. I know I'd be welcome at my aunt's for free but I need my space. I like to be able to walk around nakie. And sing loud if I want. And I don't like a mess so I don't want to have to clean up after someone else, just my own mess.
I know things will work out for the best, but this is totally not my idea of happiness. I'll be leaving that here in Huntington. Along wih my appetite and sleep. Cause I don't seem to have either. I've been heartbroken before, but nothing compared to this. I feel void. My other half is gone. Blah Blah Blah. Makes me sick to talk about it anymore. The boss asks me everyday what's goinon or if Alex has woken up yet. I want to smack him in the face for asking. I tell him I don't want to talk about it. It's not his concern. But he knows I'm hurt and can see it on my face. I'll move on sometime. I just don't know how long that will take.
So for now, I've gotta think about what's best for me. And a better job with more responsibility might be the key. Who knows?
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I agree completely. You have stayed in Huntington for Alex, and he doesn't want to be with you. That's a hard pill to swallow, but you have to look at what is best for you now...nobody else. I know you will do the right thing, whatever it is. HAHAHA to him lying to his friends and to you. I knew that he was telling you differently by the way he said those things that night at Jakes. It wasn't as much what he said but how he said it -the look on his face and the coldness of his words. That's why it's been difficult for me to sit back and watch you get hurt. But that's what I'm here for -I'm your seeeeeeeeester & I'm gonna be there through thick and thin. Logan does suck some nasty ball-hair, but the job would be a good opportunity if it works out. I think you could tough anything out for a year or two to get some experience under you (education paid for if needed) in order to go somewhere you'd be happier. Plus, you always dreamed of working with some of the teachers who taught you. This might be your opportunity. Besides, Mike said they may have other positions open besides special ed. We shall see. I'm praying for you no matter what. And I support you with whatever you decide to do (e.g. moving to Jacksonville, Florida).
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Love you!
LOL. Thanks seeeester. It would be a good opportunity so that maybe I can get out of Logan in a couple years and move to Tennessee or somewhere I would enjoy. I definately am starting to think about myself. Things will work out for me I know. Thanks for being so supportive. You're my bestest!!!!!!!
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